


they’ll see it too

by noeller



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 20:07:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19911454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noeller/pseuds/noeller
Summary: Even has these days. The ones where he’s a little more tired, but doesn’t mention it because it really, really isn’t something to worry about. But Isak can tell, because he just can.but really, Isak knows that Even being so exhausted this early means something is going on.





	they’ll see it too

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Skam fic and my first time writing in a long time. Sorry if it sucks.

It’s 20:00, and Even is half asleep.

(It wasn’t really his fault. Isak wanted to watch a documentary on space probes, and the sounds and the men speaking were very soothing.)

(also, he’s not really interested in space probes, but he’s not good at saying no to Isak)

It had been a fairly tense night. Even had been quiet since he had gotten home, even slightly clingy at times. So Isak suggested that they relax and watch something together. 

(A documentary, because no romantic tragedies when Even seems so sad.)

Isak had noticed five minutes in that Even wasn’t really paying attention, and that could see Even’s eyes drooping two minutes later. And he couldn’t really blame him. He knew that science wasn’t as incredibly interesting to Even as it was to Isak. 

Isak also wasn’t mad because his boyfriend is so fucking cute. 

Even’s head was on his chest, and he was absentmindedly drawing circles on Isak’s ribs with his finger, the repetitive motion only relaxing him further. His eyes were closed but they opened every few minutes when Even realized that he was about to fall asleep.

(and, really, they’ve been together for two years now. Isak has seen this pattern dozens of times, because Even has these days. The ones where he’s a little more tired, but doesn’t mention it because it really, really isn’t something to worry about. But Isak can tell, because he just can.)

(but really, Isak knows that Even being so exhausted this early means something is going on. Even’s fighting some sort of battle in his head that’s tiring him out.)

And now it’s been twenty minutes of the same thing, and Isak knows that Even is exhausted and probably just wants to sleep and start a new day as soon as possible. 

“Bby,” Isak whispers into Even’s hair, rubbing his back to get his attention. Even hums, but doesn’t open his eyes.

“It’s okay for you to sleep. I can turn this off and finish it in the morning if it’s too much light.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Let’s finish it.” Isak huffs out a laugh.

“Your eyes have been closed the entire time. There’s no chance you’ve heard anything they’ve said so far.” Even looks up, and Isak feels his heart drop when he sees Even’s watery eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Even chokes out. Isak sits up, making Even do the same, so that he can look into Even’s eyes. He puts his hand on Even’s cheek to make him look up again.

“Baby, what’s going on?” Even closes his eyes, which makes the tears fall down. Even tries to wipe them, but now he’s crying, so he just covers his face with his hands like that will somehow make it so that Isak can’t tell what’s happening.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” seems to be the only thing that Even can possibly say right now. “I know you wanted to watch this, I’m sorry.”

“Jesus, Ev, I don’t care about that. It’s alright, baby. It’s okay. Just talk to me.” Even nods and takes his hands off of his now tear-streaked face. He takes the hand that Isak has resting on his thigh to play with his fingers. It takes care of his nervous fidgeting, and now he has something to look at so that he doesn’t have to look Isak in the eye.

They’re quiet for a minute, Isak’s hand stroking his hair and face while he gathers his thoughts.

“It’s just, I’ve just really had a hard day, like, in my head,” and he knows Isak knows what that means, because this isn’t the first time they’ve had a similar conversation, but he knows that he still needs to elaborate. He takes a deep breath and finally looks up, and Isak is looking at him with nothing but love and patience, and now his eyes are watery for a different reason.

“It’s just that this, like, us, is the only thing I’ve ever felt completely sure about, and sometimes it feels like knowing that I have you to come home to is the only thing keeping me going, but I still just get so fucking insecure sometimes. And I feel so stupid because I know that everything my brain is telling me is fake, but I’m still thinking it. And I feel like I’m just fighting with myself, which is so confusing and I’m just really tired.”

(and Even knows that it isn’t the most eloquent explanation. But he still can’t stop the tears from falling, and he just wishes his brain worked right.)

Isak’s hand is still on Even’s face, but when he realizes Even is done talking, he moves it down his back. And Even is looking down again, because he’s scared that this was somehow the last straw, until Isak squeezes his hand and asks “can I hug you?”

And Even nods, basically falling into Isak’s arms, hiding his face in Isak’s neck.

(and Even feels so safe right now. He knows he’s holding on a little too tight, but he thinks Isak will understand that he needs this)

Isak just holds Even. Drops a kiss onto the part of Even’s neck that he can reach. “How about, for the next minute, we just stay exactly like this,” Isak suggests, and he can feel Even nod into his shoulder and loosen his grip in relief, just the tiniest bit.

And, yeah, the minute by minute thing that they adopted at the beginning of their relationship wasn’t really something they lived by as much anymore. It stopped being realistic all the time when they moved in together and had to learn their new responsibilities, but it was still something they returned to at times. When things were chaotic or overwhelming or they really just needed to pause for a few seconds to regroup.

And Isak didn’t count. He had no idea how long they just sat there while the forgotten documentary provided a comforting amount of noise, but once Even started relaxing a little bit, Isak pulled back the slightest bit, just enough to look Even in the eye again.

“I love you, okay? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Even just nodded and pressed his lips together, because that isn’t taking away the fighting in his head, and Isak knew it wouldn’t, but it was still his favorite thing to hear. No matter what, those words were a huge comfort.

“Do you think you can go to sleep, Ev,” Isak asked, because he knew Even was so tired, but he also knew that it had to be so loud in his brain right now. 

Even hesitated, but a minute later, he nodded. “Do you, um, would you be okay to lay down with me? You can get back up once I fall asleep, but I just need to be close to you right now.” Even’s voice was soft, and he rushed the words out nervously, but Isak smiled, because even when Even was feeling this insecure, he still trusted Isak enough to communicate what he needs. 

Isak just leaned in to kiss Even. It was soft and slow, so much love being shared without a single word. “I’d do anything for you. Going to bed early so that you feel better isn’t a hardship for me, Even.”

With the look of love and trust that Isak received after those words, he knew that he’d said the right thing. He didn’t always. He’d screwed up a lot over the course of their relationship, but he knew that he could count on Even having a conversation with him about anything that made him feel bad when he felt up to it. 

Isak laid back down and opened his arms for Even to cuddle into. Even relaxed immediately and went back to his earlier position, continuing the soothing circles with his finger. 

“Should I turn on some music,” Isak asked, because Even had once told him that when it was loud in his brain, he couldn’t really fall asleep until he had something to listen to and focus on. 

(and Isak’s documentary wasn’t it for him)

“Can you just, um, can you just talk about something? I just wanna hear your voice,” Even suggested, his voice still nervous. 

“I can tell you about space probes,” and Even finally smiled. 

“That might do the trick since it’s so damn boring, Isak, honestly,” Even joked, and just like that, the tense atmosphere was gone, and they were both comfortable again. 

“No, but I was reading this really interesting article earlier. I could read that to you,” Isak suggested, and Even nodded. 

“That’s perfect,” Even smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ev.”

Now, with the tension gone and both of them relaxed, Isak pulled out his phone and opened up to the article he had been reading earlier. 

(Even was listening, really, but he couldn’t tell you a thing about what Isak was saying.)

And not even five minutes later, Isak could feel how steady Even’s breathing was, and Even’s hand had gone still on Isak’s side. He felt so content to stay here for the rest of the night, but he knew he’d never be able to sleep if he just laid there for hours, so after a few minutes, he replaced his chest with a pillow under Even’s head. 

(and if Isak spent the next ten minutes just watching, occasionally running a hand through Even’s hair, because there was so much love in his heart for his boy, no one would ever know.)

So Isak got up and pressed play on the documentary. It was just for white noise at this point. Their room was a mess and Isak knew this was a good opportunity to clean up a little since it wouldn’t make much noise. 

(and no matter how emotional the night had gotten, Isak’s heart was so, so full. Because here he was, picking up clothes from the floor and not knowing who they belonged to, because him and Even share everything, and sending the occasional look to the love of his life, fast asleep in _their_ bed.)

(Isak can’t believe it either sometimes.)

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had a longer fic in mind for a while, but I wanted to write something short to make sure I wasn’t butchering the characters before I put a ton of work into it. I’d appreciate any feedback you have!


End file.
